*Suicidality and self harm are mentioned in this post*
I had another stay at a mental hospital. This time was a little bit different though. It all started on a Saturday night. I was crying all day and felt super depressed even though my life was going great otherwise. I was also hearing voices telling me to hurt myself. These were hard to ignore.
I’ll just come out and say it. I was going to overdose on some of my medication. However, my dad walked in and found me. He took all my medications away and called my mom in. I think they were disappointed that I would try to take my own life and were scared for my safety. Heck, I was scared for my safety too.
They brought me into a behavioral health hospital nearby my hometown. I was questioned by a counselor and the consensus was that I needed to be admitted again. I stayed for a total of four days. I felt like I was getting better pretty quickly and didn’t need that high level of care anymore.
My medication was adjusted and I saw my doctor everyday to let him know how I was doing. I, to be honest, wasn’t all truthful but I just wanted to be back home. I was still seeing stuff and occasionally hearing stuff but I told them that I wasn’t at all. I know it is important to be honest but at the time my brain said it was okay to be dishonest just this once. I was just scared that I would have to stay much longer even though I was feeling better than the night I came in. I, however, didn’t lie about not having anymore suicidal thoughts. I stopped having those after a couple of days of being admitted.
This time was a little more scattered, a little less structured. Don’t get me wrong the staff was great and the care I received was above average. But I had to advocate for myself in there. I had to leave the room when people started shouting. I had to ask for my medication when I felt I needed it. If you want to know how my first hospital stay went, click here.
Overall, my time there was beneficial. I attended almost all the groups that were offered including movement therapy, art therapy, and coping skills groups. I learned from my experience and am now better off for it. I am glad I had support when I needed it.
I still don’t know what my future holds. I don’t know exactly what I am doing with my life at the moment but I am sure I’ll figure it out. I have a great support network of people who are helping me get better and I am again very lucky for that.
If you need to go into the hospital, don’t be scared. Everyone there just wants to help you. It will get better eventually, I promise. Let me know if you’ve been in the hospital for mental illness and how your stay was.